Thursday, August 30, 2012

Darkness & Light: 3


“The world is dark, and light is precious.
Come closer, dear reader.
You must trust me.
I am telling you a story.”  
-The Tale of Despereaux


Aug. 2nd
The orphans kept asking the same questions I wrestle with!  The Psalms seemed trite and feeble next to my doubts of God’s goodness. 
We talked about fears in our small group time.  Almost all of the kids said they were afraid of death and darkness.  I couldn’t blame them.  God’s promises were only making me angry.  How can I believe His promises are true, how can I share them as encouragement to these kids when their circumstances laugh in the face of God’s promises? 

      That night, sitting in the cold stairwell with Comrade, no sound but our pens scratching at our journals,

Comrade:  “Do you ever feel your salvation is trite compared to the world’s suffering?” 

Me: “Yes.” 


So what if God saved me if He doesn’t save all of them?

Darkness & Light: 2


Aug. 2, 2012
Remember the goodness of Christ.  Remember what He has done.  Remember His character. 

Psalm 107.
Let the Redeemed of the Lord Say So

107 Oh give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,
     for his steadfast love endures forever!
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
     whom He has redeemed from trouble
3 and gathered in from the lands,
     from the east and from the west,
     from the north and from the south.
4 Some wandered in desert wastes,
     finding no way to a city to dwell in;
5 hungry and thirsty,
    their soul fainted within them.
6 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and He delivered them from their distress.
7 He led them by a straight way
    till they reached a city to dwell in.
8 Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love,
    for his wondrous works to the children of man!
9 For He [satisfies] the longing soul,
    and the hungry soul he (fills) with good things.
10 Some sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
     prisoners in affliction and in irons,
11 for they had rebelled against the words of God,
    and spurned the counsel of the Most High.
12 So He bowed their hearts down with hard labor;
     they fell down, with none to help.
13 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
    and He delivered them from their distress.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
    and burst their bonds apart.
15 Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love,
    for His wondrous works to the children of man!
16 For He shatters the doors of bronze
    and cuts in two the bars of iron.
17 Some were fools through their sinful ways,
    and because of their iniquities suffered affliction;
18 they loathed any kind of food,
    and they drew near to the gates of death.
19 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
     and He delivered them from their distress.
20 He sent out his word and healed them,
     and delivered them from their destruction.
21 Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love,
     for his wondrous works to the children of man!
22 And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving,
     and tell of His deeds in songs of joy!
23 Some went down to the sea in ships,
     doing business on the great waters;
24 they saw the deeds of the Lord,
     His wondrous works in the deep.
25 For he commanded and raised the stormy wind,
     which lifted up the waves of the sea.
26 They mounted up to heaven; they went down to the depths;
     their courage melted away in their evil plight;
27 they reeled and staggered like drunken men
     and were at their wits' end.
28 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,
     and He delivered them from their distress.
29 He made the storm be still,
     and the waves of the sea were hushed.
30 Then they were glad that the waters were quiet,
     and He brought them to their desired haven.
31 Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love,
     for his wondrous works to the children of man!
32 Let them extol Him in the congregation of the people,
     and praise him in the assembly of the elders.
33 He turns rivers into a desert,
     springs of water into thirsty ground,
34 a fruitful land into a salty waste,
     because of the evil of its inhabitants.
35 He turns a desert into pools of water,
     a parched land into springs of water.
36 And there he lets the hungry [dwell],
    and they establish a city to live in;
37 they sow fields and plant vineyards
    and get a fruitful yield.
38 By His blessing they multiply greatly,
    and He does not let their livestock diminish.
39 When they are diminished and brought low
    through oppression, evil, and sorrow,
40 He pours contempt on princes
    and makes them wander in trackless wastes;
41 but He raises up the needy out of affliction
    and makes their families like flocks.
42 The upright see it and are glad,
    and all wickedness shuts its mouth.
43 Whoever is wise, let him attend to these things;
    let them consider the steadfast love of the Lord.

Darkness & Light: 1


“Stories are light. Light is precious in a world so dark. Begin at the beginning… Make some light.” - The Tale of Despereaux

      At camp, we had small group discussion and craft time every morning with the kids.  This year, I was in a small group with about 17 15-18 yr. olds, mostly boys, 5 girls.  I’ve never been in a small group with older kids before.  I was nervous because I have a harder time relating to older kids than younger kids.  6yr olds just want to be held and played with, how was I going to talk with 16 yr olds?  Well, I didn't have to, they grilled us with questions through our Ukrainian team leaders.
      “Why are you here?”
      “Are you happy here?”
      “What is your dream?”
      “Do you like us?”
      They were thrilled just being around us.  Since we were the foreigners, we came with super star status.  The kids were very sweet.  It’s heart breaking watching 18 yr old boys making journals and showing them off to me for approval.  They tried to impress us with their English and made sure the Ukrainians were translating everything so we could understand.  They were so deprived of attention.  Denis would take my hand and just hold it against his face.  He was 16.  

      And the girls with their shirts rolled up to their bra line- they’re being groomed to believe they’re good for only one thing. 

      All 6yr olds demand attention, so when I worked with the little kids on past trips their lack was harder to recognize.  When I saw these teens reaching out for any kind of approval or attention, I realized how devoid of love their lives really are. 

My small group


      And then there was Vanya.

      I met Vanya the second day of camp. Each day one of the Ukrainian team members taught a master class on various subjects for the orphans. This day, Liliya taught a watercolor class, and Lizzy and I decided to join. Only two orphans came to class, and my painting of a wave looked more like a giant blue smear.
      "God, this isnt working. on so many levels.  Now what?"
      Then Vanya walked in and started talking with Liliya. Lizzy and I say hi, but our limited Russian soon snuffed conversation.  We found out Vanya was 19, and we could tell he was talking with Liliya about his family, but that was all we could understand.  Frustrated I couldn’t communicate better, I got up to leave.
      "Why are you leaving?" Vanya asked in English.
      I thought it was quite obvious, but he wanted me to stay so I sat back on the bench next to Liliya and just prayed God would speak to Vanya in between our few words back and forth in Ruskglish.
      That night I heard his story.  Vanya has a tattoo of Jesus on the right side of his chest, opposite his heart, because he believes Jesus is far away from him.  When HFO had a camp at Kharkov 5 years ago, Vanya was there and decided to follow Jesus.  But his life didn’t change, God didn’t answer his prayers and Vanya didn’t feel Him near. So he became angry with God, and wants answers. If God loves, why does Vanya still suffer?
      Of course God would use an orphan to confront my own greatest questions.


Vanya (photo cred: Dima Tkachuk)

          The darkness in these kids’ lives wore me down.  I felt like Maria in the Sound of Music, imploring the stern Captain to see the needs of his children.  “Oh please, Captain, love them!  Love them all!” 

      I wrote in my journal that night,


      Aug. 1, 2012      I know this is not a true perspective of You.  Show me Your heart.  I cannot move forward with this warped understanding of You.  You are good.  You are sovereign.  I need to know.

Prepared


I love to travel, it's just the traveling part I detest.  Considering it takes over 24hrs to get to Ukraine from Florida, and considering we had 12 team members, we made it to Kyiv with little difficulty.  On the first flight, Damaris and I got to sit with a Dr. who was joining the medical crew for the US Olympic wrestling and judo teams in London!

But once we landed in Kyiv, grabbed our luggage, found our Ukrainian team members who came to pick us up and drive us to Kharkov, packed ourselves into Jenya's van, and drove off... I started to panic.  

Wait.
Am I really about to help lead this team through two orphan camps?
ME?
Whose crazy idea was this?!
I don't know how to lead people!  I don't even know how to serve them!  How can I possibly keep track of and supply all their needs?!

Paper Bag, anyone?  Oh wait.  Freaking out in from of the team was probably not the best idea.

Mid-flip out, God stopped me.
Focus on Jesus, and you will serve naturally.
God is so beautifully simple with us, isn't He?  The more I focused on serving the team, the less I focused on Jesus.  Serving the team would be a natural and authentic outpouring of a heart centered on Christ.  If God isn't working in me, I have no resources with which to work out from Him.  This had to be my posture as a leader throughout these camps.

Phil. 1:12-13 “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
Eph. 2:10 “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

God had already prepared the work for us.  He had equipped us to complete it!  We had no reason to fear or cower, only to joyfully and boldly work out what He had already worked in us.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

If a picture's worth a thousand words...


...does that mean by posting a slideshow, I don't have to blog about this past trip?... shootka! (joke). Words WILL come soon- promise! This trip was far different than anything I've previously experienced and writing it down is difficult. But I will tell you all about it as honestly and effectively as I can, soon. For now, check out this slideshow my co-leader, Matt Snyder, made from this trip!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Here we go...

In about 13 hours, I will embark on another Ukraine mission!  Prepared?  ha.  I just finished packing my suitcase 3 min. ago.  and my brain is quite similar to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pathetic as it may be, missing out on most of the Olympics is a huge sacrifice for me, I'm already wrapped up in them, making it hard to focus on the trip.
Also making it hard to come up with an authentic prayer list.  But boy does this trip need prayer! and I know you all want to cover our needs in prayer, so here we go-

This trip is about God's mission of restoration.  Pray that our team and the Ukrainian team would unite as servants humbly, joyfully, and powerfully bringing God's message to the lost.  These orphans have no hope, but we have hope as a sure and steadfast anchor for our souls- pray that these kids cling to Jesus as their Hope and Savior, that "they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."

Pray Isaiah 61 and 62 over Ukraine!  that the poor will receive the Good News, that the brokenhearted will be bound up, the captives freed, the suffering comforted, the faint-spirited filled with praise, the ancient ruins built up, the cast off orphans acknowledged as offspring the Lord has blessed, the Forsaken renamed Sought Out!

Pray our American and Ukrainian team work as one body, stay spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy, let go of anything we grasp, serve with supernatural energy and endurance, and ultimately, "pray that the sharing of (our) faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ."

Pray for Yulya.
This will be my third time visiting her.  She committed her life to Christ last summer, but I don't know how to encourage her faith, even with a translator.  I want to see her set free, filled with the joy of the Lord, redeemed, pure, whole.  My heart is so burdened when I think of her, and I honestly feel helpless.  I don't want to show up a third time and just be her American buddy that randomly shows up and listens to music with her.  Pray that God will fill her with all joy and peace, that she would abound in hope, and for her future.  Though I'm pretty certain she has already been abused, more abuse and exploitation are in her future without a miracle.

And pray for me.  I've never lead a team before and I already feel totally inadequate.  Pray that my motives would be pure, my actions genuine.  Pray that God makes me sensitive to the needs of my team and that He would supply me to serve them in every way.  Pray that I am focused and intentional.  Oh, and please pray I make it through the plane rides with no health problems, I tend to have intense stomach pain when I fly, not motion sickness, it's hard to describe, but my doctor couldn't find anything wrong so it's not too serious, don't worry!


I don't know how to properly thank you all for your prayers.  Last summer and in January, I tangibly felt and witnessed God answering your prayers; I felt covered.  You are all dear to me and I'm so thankful for your investment in my life.  Bless you!!




Friday, June 29, 2012

I'm going back!


        
    Okay, I admit.  I’m addicted to Ukraine!  But in all seriousness, God really has knit my heart to this country.  I’m constantly praying for the orphans I’ve met and come to love, and I’m staying in touch with the university students I’ve built friendships with over the 3 times I’ve been in Ukraine.  I have the opportunity to return to Ukraine next month, this time as a team leader of a group from Northland Church, and my little sister, Lizzy, is coming too!  I’m ecstatic. 

          Orphans in Ukraine have little hope for their futures.  There are approximately 105,000 children residing in orphanages, and statistics show that only 1 out of 10 of these orphans becomes a functional member of society. The rest are lost to drugs, crime, prostitution, and suicide.  This makes my heart ache!  God has birthed a passion in me to defend the helpless.  He brings me again and again to Isaiah 61; “the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.”

          Through two camps, we will bring Isaiah 61 into action, sharing Bible stories, playing various games and sports, acting out skits, doing crafts, and being a source of love and provision for these kids and students who desperately need to know the love of Jesus.  But so much more is taking place beyond camp.  The organization we partner with, Hope for Orphans, is preparing to build a facility where they can nurture orphans all year round, and a trade school where older orphans can learn skills that will enable them to provide for themselves and have a tangible hope for their futures.  I had the opportunity to see and pray over the property this past January.  God will bring incredible restoration through that place!

          Our team will leave for Ukraine on July 29th, and will return on August 19th.  Please pray for the children we will meet (or reconnect with- we're going back to Vovkovinsiy!), for the Ukrainian team, for our team, and for me- this will be my first time leading a team, ack.  
Pray for justice!  Pray for restoration!  Pray for deliverance!  Pray that God would be glorified!